Fort Hood Tragedy

May those affected by the tragedy at Fort Hood find peace through the love and kindness of their friends, families and neighbors.  My thoughts, prayers and tears are with each family today. 

Lord, please find the time today to comfort and strengthen each family who has been affected by the Fort Hood tragedy.  Please bring peace to the hearts of the friends and family members of those who were killed in such a merciless way.  Please send angels down to walk amongst those who are injured and encourage them to get well.  Amen.

This tragedy has hit all too close to home.  When I heard the news yesterday I felt sick to my stomach.  What a senseless and merciless act by such an evil man.  Those who twist the words of their religion and claim to wage war on the innocent for the betterment of their religious beliefs obviously do not understand what they are being taught.

To those who believe that Islam is an evil religion, please understand that it is not.  The words of the Koran teach beauty, love, peace, forgiveness and understanding.  The Koran does not teach muslim's to murder innocents and kill for "Jihad."  The phrase Jihad is actually meant as a holy war within a person, the battle between good and evil that we all fight internally, it does not tell them to wage wars against an entire nation of people to kill and claim that Allah has taught them to do so. 

My fear is that we will allow hatred to build inside of us towards a religion again.  That we will fear the arabic man in the restuarant with us.  That we will not ride the bus with the man in his turbin.  Remember that there are extremists in every religion.  There are Christians who went around blowing up Planned Parenthood's full of people in the name of "God and all that is good."  There are people in this world who twist the words of their religion to manipulate and hurt others, and it is a sad, sad day when we blindly judge a person by the color of their skin or their religious beliefs simply because of the tragedy that has fallen upon our nation.

My prayers and thoughts will be with these people today.

Babies All Around!

There are two people in my office who are pregnant right now.  I am so excited that they are going to have babies and I'm living vicariously through them since I miss being pregnant so much!  Congrats Jay & Jackie and Cindy & Rett.  What an exciting journey for both of you! 

Madi's First Month Video

I made a video for Madilynn's first month last night.  Watching it makes me tear up because she is growing so fast...but it's amazing to see the transition from a newborn who fully depended on me for everything to an infant who is more independent and strong.  I can't wait to see what the coming months have for our family.

Now, for the ten things:

31)  Thank you God for blogs.  I have spent many countless hours keeping myself up-to-date with my friends lifes because of them.  They are a wonderful way to keep in touch, even with those you rarely talk to.
32)  Thank you God for news channels.  They help to keep me informed about things going on around the world, and I enjoy listening to the great stories that I wouldn't know about otherwise.
33)  Thank you God for Shipley's Donuts.  They make delicious Kolaches.
34)  Thank you God for rainbows.  It is a constant reminder that after the rain washes away, you are there to make things fresh again.
35)  Thank you God for music. 
36)  Thank you God for pony-tail holders.  When I don't feel like doing my hair, I think this is the best invention ever.
37)  Thank you God for infant tylenol.  Seriously, thank you.
38)  Thank you God for freedom of thought, speech and religion. 
39)  Thank you God for chapstick.  My lips get seriously dry and painful without it.
40)  Thank you God for digital cameras.  The days of wondering if you got that moment on film are over...which is especially useful when trying to capture 'baby's first...' moments.

Time Change And Sleep

I don't think Madi realizes that it's ok to sleep longer now.  Since the time changed we have been giving her a bath at 8pm, instead of 9pm and she's been waking up at 4am instead of 5am.  Sounds great, except my alarm doesn't go off until 5am.  So I wake up, pick her up and try to put her back to sleep, only to have my alarm go off 45 minutes later.  Then, I'm SO tired from going back to sleep that I snooze an extra 30 minutes and I'm almost late to work everyday. 
An easy solution would be to change her bedtime, right?
Wrong.  If I let her stay up later, she gets over-tired and fights sleep. Then she doesn't go to bed until 10:30pm and I'm even more exhausted because she still wakes up at 4am.  It's a catch 22.


There are people at my office who constantly come to me for help...with printing.  No joke!  Every day (at least once) someone says "Cheryl, I need your help." and I stroll over to discover that they need help with printing something from Word, Excel or their e-mail account.  "It won't all fit on one page." (Turn it landscape)  It prints all funky. (Make the margins smaller, change the layout, hide columns you don't need.) It's awesome.

Matt just called me.  Madilynn has consumed 12 ounces already this morning (It's 11am!).  Before we put her on medicine for reflux, we were lucky if she ate 10 ounces in a 12 hour period.  This is a huge gain for her, and a great accomplishment.  Thank God for reflux medicine! :o)

Also, he will not be going to swear in (AGAIN!) this week.  This charade is getting old.


Time for my 10 things of today:
(What number am I on? 21?)


21) Thank you God for the beautiful weather.  I can drive with my windows down on the way home from work and I love it.
22)  Thank you God for calculators.  I've always been really bad at math and calculators make it easy!
23)  Thank you God for white out.  Mistakes are easily covered...at least on paper.
24)  Thank you God for razors.  Can you imagine what we'd look like without them? (Gross!)
25)  Thank you God for texting.  I hate talking on the phone and texting makes it way easier.
26)  Thank you God for dogs.  When I'm upset my dog always cuddles with me and it makes me happy.
27)  Thank you God for caffiene.  I'm really tired today and I had a giant Dr. Pepper and now I feel much better.
28)  Thank you God for hand sanitizer.  I don't like germs
29)  Thank you God for contacts.  I really hate glasses.
30)  Thank you God for fast food.  Even if it's really unhealthy, it's so delicious!


And finally, a comic about Japanese doctors:

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it.... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speed up heart not make live longer; that like say you can extend life of car by driving faster. Want live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. What are these? Vegetables. So, steak nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give 100% recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine. That means they take water out of fruity bit; get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: If you have body and you have fat, ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Cannot think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if want bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy? HELLO… Cocoa beans! Vegetable!!! Cocoa beans best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whales to me..


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies:

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
And suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

In the Life of A Mommy...

My life currently consists of a lot of texts, calls & messages about doctor's appointments, diaper changes, administering medicine & feeding times. It seems like every time my phone vibrates or rings it has to do with Madilynn...and I Love it.



I've never put Madi on her side to sleep before...she's always been a tummy sleeper (tsk, tsk, I know!). This morning when I woke up and peeked in on her sleeping in her crib, she was sleeping on her side, cuddled up with her pink blanket in between her hands. It almost looked like she was praying. I'll post a picture soon, it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen her do.


I think she got the idea from Kaitlyn. When Chelsea and I were hanging out we put the girls on their sides - face to face - so they could talk and laugh at each other. That was the first time I've ever put her on her side. Maybe she loves it?

I've been co-sleeping with Madi again (I know, I know!!!). It's so much easier for me to just pick her up at 3am and snuggle with her in my bed. She sleeps on my chest and I sleep with three pillows behind me so that I'm more 'sitting' than 'sleeping'...but we both get better rest that way.


Last night Madi and I said a little prayer for one of our dear friends. She is going through an incredibly rough time right now and needs all of God's help to get through it. I (obviously) can't go into detail about her difficulties, but she is in my prayers continuously. Also in my prayers: Athena, Alex & Mike, as they are going in for more scans to see if Alex is still cancer free; Dawn & Greyson, as Greyson struggles for life everyday (born at 24 wks); Heather, Dave, Morgan & her twins, as Doug is in the hospital with a series batch of kidney stones; Laura Shook as she recovers from Chemo; Emily, as she struggles to be a very young mom and Chelsea, for a variety of reasons.

Now, for my 10 things to be grateful for:

11) Thank you God for the moon, the sun and the stars. Even in my darkest moments, they provide me with guidance and hope.


12) Thank you God for the love, friendship and great bonds that I have been given from WTE.


13) Thank you God for forgiveness.


14) Thank you God for the color pink. I use to hate it, but without pink my little girl would be called a boy 24/7.


15) Thank you God for stick-shift transmissions.


16) Thank you God for GPS systems. I would be lost without them. (Pun intended.)

17) Thank you God for faith in you, in love and in multitudes of things.


18) Thank you God for internet. Could you imagine trying to mail this list to my friends?


19) Thank you God for ultrasounds. Without them Madi may have been in grave danger when I gave birth to her.


20) Thank you God for laughter. It is the cure-all.

Halloween & Church

I'm sure that the two items listed in the title don't really belong together, seeing as Halloween's background is completely the opposite of church...but that's what this is about.

Saturday was Halloween. Matt, Chelsea and I went trick or treating with our beautiful girls.

Madilynn was dressed up as a lady bug, since she seems to have a huge attachment to them. Kaitlyn was a little lamb and she was cute as could be. The girls loved spending time together and talked and laughed and smiled at each other. It was wonderful to spend time with my belly buddy Chelsea again. Even though we haven't known each other very long, she knows so much about me and my life! By the time trick-or-treating was over, both girls we completely tuckered out and passed out. All in all, we truly had a blast and can't wait to get together with Chelsea & Kaitlyn again for our next fun trip!

Sunday Chelsea and I took the girls to church for the very first time. We left them at the daycare center with some wonderful women so that we could enjoy service without them needing our attention. Community of faith was a wonderful place to go. We heard a great service from The Shook's about marriage, commitment and the true meaning of the vows that we offer when we marry. It was revitalizing and renewing.

After reading Laura Shook's blog I am going to follow one of her 'homework assignments' and list 100 things that I am truly grateful for, but I am going to list 10 per day for the next 10 entries. This should be interesting.

1) Thank you God for the wonderful husband that I have. He is literally my better half and I cannot wait to walk through life with him.

2) Thank you God for my beautiful daughter. She is the light of my life.

3) Thank you God for helping me find Chelsea. Without her, I would not have found you.

4) Thank you God for my family. We may not always get along, but they love me and I love them.

5) Thank you God for my life experiences. I have had the opportunity to travel and experience so much, at such a young age, and I would not be who I am today with out them.

6) Thank you God for each breath that I take.

7) Thank you God for my dog, Summer. She can be a horrible pain sometimes, but she has brought many wonderful smiles to my face.

8) Thank you God for my job. It isn't always my favorite thing to do, but it allows me to help support my family.

9) Thank you God for double stuf'd oreos.

10) Thank you God for courage. Throughout the many trials in my life, you have always provided me with the courage to make it through.

Quick update on Madi:

She is now 11lbs, 23 7/8 inches long. She is completely on formula now because she wasn't gaining enough weight. She has also been put on medication for reflux (late diagnosis) so that we can see if it helps her to gain any weight. We are hoping (and praying!) for a 13lb baby when we go back at the end of this month!

Frustrations and Exhaustion

Matt and I finally went out of town together this weekend. I was looking forward to a nice, relaxing weekend with no stress and not having to worry about Madilynn -- but it turned into quite the opposite.

I left Madi with her Grandma (my mom) and the only things I requested were 1) Follow our schedule and give her a bath at 9pm; 2) don't take her anywhere without talking to us first; 3) feed her breastmilk (I took out 50 ounces).

Soooooo...she got a bath at 7:30pm, ate formula and when I asked my mom NOT to take her to church since we were just a few minutes away from the house, she hung up on me, went anyway and ignored my phone calls.

Needless to say, I will not be going out of town again anytime soon.

I appreciate that my mom watched her...but the only reason I even went this weekend is because I felt incredibly pressured to do so by my sister & mom in the first place. I enjoyed it, but I'm in utter shock that the only things I asked from my mom were completely disrespected. I don't know how to even feel about it. I WANT to be able to leave her with my mom, but now I feel like I can't because what Matt and I want for her is disregarded and replaced with whatever Grandma feels is best.

Before I left my mom said "I'm Grandma, it's my job to break the rules." It's so frustrating that she feels this way! Why? What is the point of butting heads with me about how to take care of my daughter? Why can't she just accept that even if she doesn't agree with our decisions, she needs to respect them and follow what we've laid forth. It's totally ruining the relationship I have with my mom and I don't know how to show her how much she is hurting me. I've tried everything I can think of. I've talked to her, written a letter, everything -- but she just ignores me anyway.

I'm exhausted and tired and irritated and frustrated. This is absurd. This is NOT what I expected my mom to act like, not at all. I'm so disappointed.

Blah

I just wrote this great, long post about how wonderful being a mom is, how Madi is growing and changing & how Matt is joining the Air Force...but when I hit post I got an error message. Needless to say, Blogspot deleted it.

I'm not re-writing it.

:o)

Sleep Deprived...

I think today is the most exhausted I've been in years. I don't know why, but I'm completely EXHAUSTED.

I gave Madi a bath early last night (8pm) and by 9:30pm she was dead asleep. I should have gone to bed then because that would have given me like 7 1/2 hours of sleep. Instead I took a shower, talked on Facebook & WTE for a while and then Matt and I had a talk...by the time I 'fell' asleep it was probably 11:30pm. So I'm thinking "ok, cool. I can have 4 1/2 hours of sleep. Except not. Madilynn woke me up at 3:30! She was hungry and (semi) wanted to play. I got her to fall back asleep around 4am...but by that point I was 1/2 awake.

You know how when you wake up like 15 minutes before your alarm and you're wide awake but just want to enjoy those last 15 minutes so you fall back asleep? Then, when you wake back up you are sooooo tired even though 15 minutes before you were awake? That's about 1/2 as tired as I am right now.

Anyway, I fell back asleep around 4:15, but had to get up 45 minutes later for work.

Then, on my way into work it must have been 'national honk your horn' day. Every 5 minutes someone was honking about something. I got honked at TWICE. I don't think I've been honked at in ages. It was hilarious. Road rage is a funny thing.

Just a Few Quick Pics

Mommy & Madi snuggling


Showing off her beautiful eyes




Taking a nap on the blanket the Ronald McDonald house gave her after her NICU trip.




Dad, Madi & Mommy

My Return To Work

Today is my first day back to work. I am feeling a world of emotions right now and it is definitely taking a toll on me. I knew that this day would come eventually, but I never really 'prepared' myself for it. I always thought I'd just be able to get up one morning and walk out the door and everything would be ok. It's not. It's hard and sad and I am ready to go home.

Madilynn is going to be three months old on Thursday. It's amazing how fast time has flown and how much she has grown and changed in just the past few weeks. She is now 10 pounds, 7 ounces and 23 1/3 inches long. Quite a change from her birth weight (5 lb 6 oz & 18 1/2 inches!).

I remember the last 12/13 weeks of my pregnancy as lasting forever. The first 12/13 weeks of Madi's life went too fast. Before I know it I am going to be 40 years old and she's going to be going to college and graduating and having babies of her own. It's a large step forward, I know, but it just seems like at this rate, I won't be able to keep up.

We had a brief stay in the Neo-natal intensive care unit (level II). Madi somehow contracted bacterial meningitis. It was horrible to see her all hooked up to machines and sensors. I had to hold her down when they did her lumbar puncture and inserted her IV. I was crying and on the verge of throwing up. She's much better now and we pray to never have to go through that again.

Matt and I have discussed having another baby by this time next year. We are considering "allowing" things to happen naturally starting in Jan of 2010. We have to get ourselves more financially secure first, but I have enjoyed being a mother thus far and he has enjoyed being a father. We want Madi to have a brother/sister relatively soon so that she doesn't get spoiled and so that she has someone to play with (and get in trouble with) when she's older.

Willie came on the 2nd and took pictures of our little family. They are amazing. http://www.photo-artistry.smugmug.com/ is the website that you can view the pictures at.

We moved back to Tomball (and in with my family) to save money for a house. It has been a drastic adjustment and we are still learning how to co-habitate with my parents and brothers again. There have been a few rough patches, but all-in-all things are great.

I guess I should get back to work now.