Murphy's Law & Karma

I'm not really sure where to start...I feel like I'm stuck in a movie called "Murphy's Law" (anything that can go wrong, will go wrong)

First I guess I should say that Matt and I are still currently pregnant.  We are about 8 weeks 2 days right now.  Our first ultrasound showed that we had a nice sac, but nothing in it.  Our second ultrasound showed a baby with a heart beat.  It's our third ultrasound that brings me to blog.

Warning:  This is going to be "TMI"

I've had nausea really badly this entire pregnancy.  Dr. C put me on Zofran to help with the nausea, but I feel bad taking it all the time because anything I put into my body will get to the baby, and really, it's going to have enough medications in its lifetime that I don't need to start pre-earth era. 

Yesterday (Thursday 3/25) I was at work and feeling especially nauseous.  I decided to take a Zofran and see if it helped.  I was in the middle of a conversation with two co-workers when I suddenly had the water throat, mouth and everything else and said "I think I'm going to puke!" and they said "Well go to the bathroom!" (duh.)  So off I walked (albeit briskly) down the hall.  As I reached the bathroom door I went *BLUGH* and just barely made it into the trashcan.  Lucky me.  I puked a total of 6 times.  Gross.

I went back to my desk and continued on my day.  I had to do literature for the company I worked for so I trekked across the parking lot and pulled all the books and stuff I would need down.  Walked back to my desk, sorted them, carried them to the warehouse.  When I got back to my desk I started feeling kind of crampy.  Owwww, ouch.  So I went to the bathroom (skip this part if you don't like it) and there it was, blood.  Fantastic.  This is exactly what we were hoping WOULDN'T happen, especially since this is our FOURTH pregnancy.

I left at my normally scheduled time and decided to go home and wait it out.  Good thing I didn't.  I got to the hospital and they brought me back for an ultrasound.  The tech kept asking me "Are you overdoing it?"  "Have you been doing too much?"  Of course, the answer is no.  I sleep, I wake up, I go to my desk job, I go home, I play with Madi, I put her to sleep, I sleep, repeat. 

At the end of the ultrasound she sends me back to wait and wait and wait.  Finally the doctor comes out and tells me the news.  I have two (2) (dos) subchorionic hematomas in my uterus.  "Go home, rest, don't strain yourself, don't lift anything, do nothing until you can get into the doctor."  That's it. 

I have an appointment today to have an 'emergency ultrasound and follow-up' with Doctor C.  I just have this pit of my stomach feeling that it's not going to be good. 

My research on SCH's (that's what the web lingo calls them) is that it's 50/50 chance of miscarriage.  Lot's of women are lucky enough to have them completely absorb into their uterine walls and go on to have perfectly normal, healthy pregnancies.  Some women experience loss up to about the 14th week.  Some experience loss up to the 24th week.  Some experience pre-term labor between 24-28 weeks.  Some experience full-term, healthy babies and have the hematoma's the entire pregnancy. 

I'm terrified of two things - 
1) late term loss.  I don't know that I could do it, recuperate, breathe, move, go on.
2) going an entire pregnancy with a massive hematoma just sitting there like an impending death sentance. 

(for anyone who doesn't know what an SCH is which is likely everyone it's a blood clot in the uterus that prevents the placenta from attaching to the uterine wall.  They vary in size and location.)

On the *positive* side of things: 
- Madi is now 14lbs 7.5oz.  We saw Dr. V on Monday and he was happy that her weight is going up (slowly, but it's moving!!!).   However, she had a large growth spurt in length which has caused her growth to move downward on the charts creating a 'dip' or 'nonlinear' curve.  We have weekly appointments from here on out to monitor her growth. 
- I had my investigation with CPS.  The women I was interviewed by were VERY nice and seemed to understand why I was so appalled by the investigation in the first place.  Whoever reported us even gave them this blog!  I am still very upset that someone who "knows" us would report us to CPS, especially with the allegations that they did.  Clearly, we love Madi very much and would give ANYTHING to make sure she was taken care of appropriately. 
- My last day at my job is coming up quickly.  I have had to take too much time off between this pregnancy, my last miscarriage & Madi's health issues, so Matt and I decided that in order to make it easier I am going to be a "stay at home mom."  What a great and rewarding job!!!

And finally, a note:

Dear CPS reporter (who fradulently contacted CPS and made false allegations to a government agency knowingly),

I would think twice before doing that again.  Not only do you cause a mass of inconvienence in the lives of the people you 'reported' but you also cause an uncalled for investigation for CPS.  This takes up their precious time where they could be out investigating people who really do deserve it like child abusers, molesters & neglecters. 

I would like to say too, I really hope that karma DOES exist.

Sick Family, Sick Baby, New baby

This week has been so stressful. Strike that. This YEAR has been so stressful.


I haven't updated in a while because a lot has been going on. My Uncle T-Dan had a heart attack about two weeks ago. He was in CCU at Memorial Hermann for 3 days before finally being released with a brand new stint. He was complaining of headaches at the hospital, but the Dr's and nurses didn't bother to run an MRI (or even an EKG) before releasing him. He spent 4 nights at my parent's house. On Saturday morning when I woke up I went downstairs and he did not look like he was feeling well. My mom told me that he had been having massive headaches since Tuesday. My little brain went *click* and I remembered reading in high school that heart attacks and strokes occasionally go hand in hand due to the blood thinning they have to do. I researched it on google to be sure, but yes, headaches after a stint surgery (or any surgery) usually means either a blood clot in the brain, or a bleed (stroke). I told my mom my suspicions. She called my Aunt L who called her friend (a cardiologist) who agreed and off we all went to the ER get him checked.
He had been having a stroke!
He was transferred via ambulance to St. Lukes and was in the ICU for 4 days. He's released now (and thankfully didn't have to have brain surgery to repair the bleed) and is at home resting.


Monday Matt and I had a million running around things to do. Doctor's appointments and more. Madi weighs 14lb 3 ounces at 8 months (exactly). Not so good on the weight, but at least it's still 'linear'.


I had my ultrasound with Dr. C. There is a sac. A beautiful little sac measuring right where it should be. No baby is growing inside (yet!) but I have a corpous luteum (spelling, ugh) cyst on my right ovary that is 2 centimeters long. That's a great thing. It means that my body is doing everything it can to maintain this new pregnancy. (that's right, NEW pregnancy). We aren't going to tell anyone (except you, clearly) until we've seen a heartbeat. I weigh 138lbs. Massive. I didn't weigh that much until I was 1/2 done baking Madi. I'm going to be HUGE this time around. Yipes.


Matt didn't leave for basic. Ughhhhhhhh. He is scheduled (set in stone) for April 20th.


This contains information about Madi getting sick that you are most likely not going to want to read. If you read this and say "that is really gross, why would she share that?" I'm going to laugh in your face, because this is 'fair warning' that you DON'T want to know what I'm about to write, but I'm writing it anyway because this is my blog.


Tuesday (yesterday) morning I woke up to get ready for work. I got all dressed up and started to wake up Madi to get her ready to go. Usually in the morning Madi is chipper and happy...yesterday she was not. I noted when I woke her up that she felt warm, but assumed it was "blanket fever" (when you're asleep your body temp naturally rises, especially when covered up). After I woke her up I noticed that she just wasn't acting right. I took her temp and it was 100.5. That's not too terribly alarming, but it was enough for me to say that I wasn't going into work. As the morning progressed Madi got worse and worse. I gave her 1/2 a glycerin tablet to help get "things" moving and about 30 minutes later Madi started having diarrhea. She immediately started getting much, much warmer. Her fever was 101.2. She stopped responding to my voice. She just layed in my arms and wimpered. I knew something was wrong. She would wake up for about 3-5 minutes and smile, play, laugh but then crash again and just cry. I took her to Texas Children's Hospital were we waiting endlessly. They found nothing. She developed a rash on her stomach. We went home.


By the time we arrived home she was warm again. 99.5, 30 minutes later 100.4, 30 minutes later 101.4. I gave her some motrin. The diarrhea started again, but this time it was awful. Madi cried everytime she had it and it was no longer poop, but mucous. My poor baby.


She slept terrible last night. I'm at work, but I really want to go home and spend time with her and make sure she is ok. It's 8am and she's still asleep...this is very much not like Madi. I'm worried about her.

Things Can Change...

Yesterday my mom and I met at 24 hour fitness to work out. I love spending time with her, I feel like we finally have a good relationship, which has been a long time coming.
On the way home we talked about a bunch of different things, but one of our topics was my Aunt D. She has stage IV breast cancer. She's already had a full masectomy (spelling, sorry, I'm tired...) and the cancer has been persistant through it all.

I can't imagine how it feels to be a sister to someone who is inevitably dying. I know it's harsh to say, but once cancer reaches a certain stage and they've 'done all they can' the next step is basically to wait for God to "bring me home." She's still undergoing chemotherapy right now, so there IS hope for her, but it definitely *seems* hopeless after so many years of battling it and it getting progressively worse. My poor Aunt D. I am praying for you.

When we got home from the gym last night my mom recieved a phone call from my Aunt Lois. My Uncle T-Dan had a heart attack, we needed to go to the hospital ASAP. My mom and brother rushed out to Memorial Hermann, I was following but a little more slowly (plus, I had to pack a diaper bag first!). On the way there my brother calls and tells me that he is in critical care at the heart and vascular center. My heart broke into a thousand pieces.

We waited for so many hours before we could finally see him. A few brief moments and we were ushered out by nurses needing to fix his cathedar. He seems in good spirits (and as fiesty as ever), so that was uplifting and definitely released some anxiety.

He had a heart attack due to a clog at one of the valves at the back of his heart. He was at a bar with a friend of his (who, thankfully, took swift action in calling the ambulance) when he had the heart attack. If he would have been home alone, he would've ignored the signs (trust me, he's THAT stubborn!). I'm so grateful for his friend. When he got to the hospital they rushed him into surgery and put a stint into his heart.

My prayers:

Please pray for my uncle's swift recovery and future health.

Please pray for my Aunt to be healed after this chemotherapy. She has 5 kids and a brand new grandbaby who needs her.

Please pray for my friend who is still struggling with a loss. We visited her mother the other day and talked about everything, it was so nice, but I can see it in her eyes that her heart is still in pieces. It may never be whole again, but I pray for something to help her.

Please pray for my friend who has shut herself off from the world. I love you, you know who you are. I don't know what's going on, but I am thinking of you every single day and I miss your face.

Please pray for my friend who is waiting anxiously for a test result that will forever change her life. Pray for a positive outcome, whether it be negative or positive.

Please pray for Laura as she recovers from her last chemo dose. She's been such an inspiration and a trooper.

Please pray for all those in Haiti, Chile, Hawaii and other around the world affected by natural disasters.

Please pray for Layla Grace. Also, please pray for other children affected by terrible diseases like Cancer. And please, please pray for a cure.

Finally, please pray for those in your life who need your thoughts and prayers. Feel free to leave a comment with prayer requests too.